Don't cry I'll bring this home to you.

The first day I moved here, a total of 6 people told me that this town would change everything I ever thought I knew and everything I thought I was. I can feel it happening, but I don't think it's a bad thing. I feel more independant, I think I have more pride, and I'm almost confident in what I do. Somedays I feel the complete opposite. Yesterday I wanted to crawl into a hole and rot forever. I would have gave anything to be in New York, with my mom, and my brothers, and my animals, in my living room laying on the floor barefoot. I cant even walk around barefoot here without the risk of getting AIDS, it sucks. Somedays I feel inferior to everyone here. Somedays I want to shank bitches for being slutty. I don't care if you're a ho, but be a classy ho, PLEASE? Thanks.

5 days until home sweet home. I am going to tackle my mother to the ground and smother her with love. I miss my kitty, my bunnies, my puppies..MELVVYYY. I can't wait to eat homecooked meals and not microwavable meat or Banquet dinners. I can't wait to see MY LAURS SHRIMP TAMPORA babylove booberry sugapie honey buns. I miss John's songs, I miss Konstantines bow ties and contagious laugh, I miss Charies hamburgers and alchoholism, I miss Ralphs sincerirty. I miss everything.

I'm also torn to shit. Everyday I think about the people I met here so far, and how much I love them. Truly love them. Chris, Dick, Remi, Jake, Ashley. I wish I could take them everywhere with me, maybe pull a Jetsons and fold them up and stick them in my back pocket, just whip them out whenver I needed them. I just want to be with everyone I love all the time. If only it was that easy. I honestly don't know what I am going to do without these people when I graduate. New York brings out the worst in me, and these people bring out the best. I never want to leave them for good. No never never.

This past Friday there was a party at Robot house, where Dick, Remi, and Jake live. Towards the end of the night Chris and I decided to go back to Yellow house to eat. Jake followed. Said goodnight to Dick and Remi. We got back to house, and slowly but surley, Dick.. and then Remi, made their way up. I know it's lame but it was the best feeling ever. We always end up together. and I'm kind of in love with it.



I'm ranting horribly. I'm sorry. This is what Monessen does. Ohhhhh, Monessen.