I'm pissed.

Okay. Am I the only one who thinks this Vampire Rights Amendment bullshit is getting a little crazy? I probably am, but I'm going to rant about it anyway, so fuck.

I don't care who you are or how much blood you drink, you're not a vampire. Sure, it's cool.. in movies, because you're immortal and really goodlooking and badass. But if I went up to one of these so-called "vampires" and shot them in the stomach, with the gun that I don't have, they would probably definitely bleed to death. And I'm confused, what is this TruBlood Beverage? Apparently it's synthetic blood that quenches vampires nourishment so that they don't have to go around biting peoples throats out. But, am I crazy? Doesn't synthetic mean "fake" or "artificial." Let's see, it does! So how in the name of sweet babies does a fake blood beverage nourish a vampires needs of survival? This is all bullshit to me and it makes me want to kill everyone. I don't need to come home one day and have to worry about some vampire freak jumping out from my bushes to drink my blood when I know their not real. If you're gonna drink my blood, fine, but turn me into a vampire too. Don't be selfish. But remember, that's impossible. So please don't do it.

Listen to what this bitch wrote:

Dear Friend,

The American Vampire League is the largest organization in the United States dedicated to promoting the equality and civil liberties of vampires. The AVL takes a three-pronged approach: lobbying for the Vampire Rights Act at state and national levels, disseminating accurate information about vampires to the general public and offering guidance to vampires seeking to mainstream.

Each of these efforts supports one ultimate mission: To eradicate the fear and hatred of vampires that is caused by both widespread misinformation and an entire race's punishment for the crimes of a few. Since the discovery and marketing of synthetic blood, there is no longer any reason for vampires to remain hidden — or to be shunned or discriminated against.
To humans we say: Vampires are your neighbors, your nightwatchmen, your ancestors. And to my fellow vampires: It's time we all come out of the darkness. Let's learn to live together without fear.

Yours eternally, Nan Flanagan.

..What? Eternally yours? Bitch you are not eternal. Come out of the darkness? I thought you couldn't. Night watchmen? Stop, you're fucking creepy as balls. Synthetic blood? Come on, if you're a vampire, we all know you'd prefer real human blood rather than fake processed store bought blood. I know I would. Plus one day I'm sure you're gonna be chillin' with your "human" friends and get really malnourished and attack your BFFL, and not get arrested because it's now legal to kill. That's not fair, why can't I drink peoples blood? Give me a break off that Kit-Kat bar. Live without fear? I'm not so much scared of the fact that there are vampires running around biting people for no reason than I am of that fact that the world is going to be taken over by freaks. This is all so confusing to me.




I think this is slightly odd too:

When William "Skutch" Miller spotted a vampire at his daughter Sandy's bedroom window, he was more than happy to offer an invitation . The visitor in question, Aaron Stockholm, had run miles to the Iowa farmer's house after noticing flames on the horizon. Much of the property was destroyed by the time Stokholm arrived, but thanks to his quick thinking - and the Millers' open -mindness- he was able to carry all eight members of the trapped family to safety. " I wasn't so sure about this whole vampire thing," says Miller, "but after one of them saves your whole family, you have to rethink some of your judgements. All I can say is that Aaron's always welcome in my house."

AN INVITATION? To someone starring at your daughter through a window? Why, sir? Do you really want to watch a vampire ass ramming your daughter? That's by far the worst fantasy I've ever heard. If my father allowed me to be raped by a vampire, all Hell would break loose on his ass. Well, I guess technically it would be breaking loose on my ass.. but that's besides the point. What the fuck man. Am I crazy? If I saw ANYTHING starring at me or anyone of my family members (especially my spawn) through a bedroom window, I don't care what you are; vampire, werewolf, a demon sent from the farthest nether regions of Hell, Arnold Swartzenegger, Osama, Bono, Oprah Winfrey, or the Devil himself, that motherfucker would be begging for his breath, So I guess it's okay to murder people and be a peeping-tom and rape little girls if you're a vampire? Well shit on a fucking brick, why doesn't everyone just pretend to be a vampire and live it the fuck up?

Second, why can't cannibals go around eating people if vampires are allowed to drink peoples blood? They can go around scaring people and giving people heart attacks when they come home from buying groceries for their families and drink their blood for survival, but a cannibal can't eat people? That's their nourishment. Also, cannibals are real. Vampires are not. So what the fuck? All of this is really making me hate America and Government a lot more than I already did. If anything should be rewarded with a Right, it should be the cannibals, because it's not their fault. And once again, they are real. They exist. They are not fake.

I also don't think it's fair to serial killers. I love serial killers. I think each and everyone of them are extremely interesting because they don't have minds like everyone else. There is so much shit going on in their heads and I personally find it so fascinating and I think everybody can learn a little something from them if you have an open mind. I think serial killers should have a right to kill as well. That might sound stupid, but I think the Vampire Right is stupid, so fuck you. Serial killers rule. There is no reason whatsoever to give somebody the death sentence/life in jail for the reason that they are sick or for the fact that they got shitty genes. Kill their parents, not them. I think serial killers are genius and beautiful and sad and amazing. They should absolutely 100% be able to kill people because it is their personal way of dealing with the way that life presented itself to them. If vampires can kill, then Jeff Dahmer should have never been arrested and beaten to death by someone in jail. Dahmer was a fucking sweetheart. Call me crazy. I hope a "vampire" gets a hold of that guy really soon. That one vampire gets my approval.

So in conclusion: Fuck you vampires I hate you. I'm sorry to be a party pooper, but if they were real deal and if they could make me immortal, then fuck, bite me anywhere you want. But this is real life and it's confusing me. Watch me go out tonight and get bit my a vamp. I'll flip the fuck out.